Top Design

Well, what can be said. For being a 100% Project Runway derivative, this show is shockingly bad. Todd Oldham is no Tim Gunn, that's for sure. We have none of Sensei Gunn's prolific vocabulary, laser-like mentoring precison and genuineness. Instead we have faded hipster doof Oldham with a sing-song voice so lifeless it's frightening. I mean really, couldn't he just pantomime his instructions? I could not be more collectively annoyed by a group than the contestants that we are presented with here. I honestly don't want ANY of them to win. So the question becomes why am I watching? Ya got me there.

I do have to credit the show with introducing me to Kelly Wearstler's work. Well, maybe I knew it already, I just didn't know it was her. Apparently she's one of the major proponents of the Hollwood Glam ethos that was so hip in interior design circa 2004. I describe her point of view as how Vincente Minnelli would style his sets if he was shooting Mitford to Mussolini: the Life of Lady Diana Mosely in the 21st century. That doesn't keep me from wanting to have every party ever from now on for the rest of my life at the Viceroy, which she designed. Damn you, you ex-playmate turned "design superstar". You are now officially in the #2 slot of my Pantheon of Chicks I Love to Hate, right behind Sienna Miller, but above Chloë Sevigny....who used your wallpaper in her house....as seen in January's Home and Garden.

Now Jonathan Adler, I am COVETING your Muse pottery collection this season. Let's face it, you had me with the names: Misia Sert, Kiki de Montparnasse, Gala Dalí...and I WANT the Dora Maar vase (pictured).