In The Navy

Sometimes I think I have shameful hidden addictions just so I can have the pleasure of disclosing them on this blog; I am more than a little bit knowledgable about TMZ, shall we say. I try really hard to keep my fascination with it on the down low, but Harvey Levin just has a way of surprising you with info that you didn't know you wanted to know. In this particular post, I am confessing that a) I read TMZ on an hourly basis, and for my efforts, look what I get blessed with. And b) the cat's out of the bag! I watched The Bachelor this season (the finale is tonight!) and I really don't want Bevin to win.

But does there really have to be a finale? Can't we just keep an hour and a half of prime time a week devoted to Lt. Dr. Andy Baldwin? Why does it have to end?

I was talking to my friend this past week and she commented that I "wouldn't be me without [my] obsessions." I guess that's true, but I've always been to busy obsessing about my latest obsession to make that self-realization. So I thought I'd share with you my new obsession: I was a Crabcakes Benedict virgin till last week. This is the second Saturday in a row that I had them for brunch, the first at Good Stuff, the second at Misto. They were even better the second time around. Don't they look delectable?

It's a family tradition we have that we make homemade Eggs Benedict for my Dad for Father's Day. I can only handle that about once a year, though because hollandaise is tricky to make (LOW HEAT), and I'm a well-intentioned yet sometimes not great cook. I might order them once a year at a restaurant, but usually it's an infrequent treat for me, and I'd never had them made with crab!

So has anyone else noticed the ascension of crabcakes on the social scene over the last 4-5 years? Now you can buy a fabulous gourmet crabcake from Trader Joe's where as I'm sure the only grocery store version available in the past was probably Kentucky Fried Smells Like Real Crab patties. So maybe I'll have to try these at home!

I know what I'm getting Dominick Dunne for Christmas...

Dear Vanity Fair,

When A. M. Homes calls something "slightly naughty", I believe her. One of our more subversive modern authors, who has mentioned more than once in interviews that she had sexual feelings about her biological father when she first interacted with him as the result of a search for her biological parents, if SHE thinks something is indecent, I'm sure Tipper Gore is drafting a bill to put through congress right now to save us all from it.

So, you crazy content creators at vanityfair.com, looks like I fell for one of your nasty lexical tricks. You put Lilly Pulitzer and "naughty" as a tease for an article and I'm thinking sock garters and horsewhips for stockbrokers available in a flamingo pink or billiard table green. These ties are more like what Stanford Blatch from Sex and the City would use to distract you from the awful eyeglasses he wears.

I am willing to concede that maybe I don't have a firm grasp on what passes for modern masculinity these days (c.f. my comments about the inaugural issue of another Condé Nast publication, Men's Vogue on this blog.) Hell, I'd wear them if I didn't think women-in-ties a dangerously tricky sartorial move only best attempted by someone at the top of their game or in a Billy Idol video, which I admittedly at this juncture am not. But I do have what I will christen my McQueen Masculinity Maxim which when stated as a mathematical proof looks like this:

If Steve McQueen is THE MANLIEST MAN OF ALL TIME, then everything he does is masculine.

Ergo, if Steve McQueen would not do X, then X is not masculine.

Q. E. D. Masculinity can be determined by answering the question, "Would Steve McQueen do X?"

According to my calculations, that makes these ties less than virile. However, the Grande Dame of Palm Beach apparently disagrees with me. When Homes queries Pulitzer about her target market, "who is the Lilly man?", she responded thus:

"He's confident, of course. He's walking down the street wearing pink and green elephants," says 75-year-old Lilly Pulitzer Rousseau

I admit it would take nigh on to McQueenian confidence to do something like that.

What exactly does Lilly Pulitzer have on you, Graydon Carter?

"'ere are oo?"

I've lost my passport, better said, I have TEMPORARILY mislaid it. I have been obsessing about it ever since I realized it's...not where I thought it was. It's a good thing too, cause if I had it I might not be able to keep myself from buying thisssss luxe passport cover from Smythson. As it is, I'm placing 4 orders with the universe (yes I've seen The Secret just like everyone else...)

1. Please help me find my passport before I'm supposed to go on the Scandinavian Cruise with my sisters this summer.


2. Please help me go on more fabulous vacations than I have been going on.


3. Please help me to be able to afford this passport cover and something smashing to put it in besides the fanny pack (a little too downmarket).
   
4. Please let me have a fabulous villa in Morocco and an architect husband that likes to surf like this chick.

At Home

Doesn't this look like some divine yuppie Vallhala/Elysium/Xanadu? Except what's with the lamp with the fringe?

Notice the crocheted afghan on the right sofa arm? D. V., Je t'aime!

Powered by....

So, I was watching the USC football game this afternoon, as I am wont to do. USC winning a football game is about the only sure thing there is anymore in this life of mine. The People of Troy DELIVER. Some might wonder what it is that ensures such reliability. Is it the unprescedented wealth that USC Alumni are famous for bestowing on their alma mater, inevitably making the Trojans the New York Yankees of college football? Why only last week George Lucas announced a gift of $175 million dollars to 'SC (but I doubt very much that the football program will see much of that). Maybe it's not the money, but something overthere is making a difference.

As I watched the surprisingly close game this afternoon I had a realization about what has caused the success of 'SC thus far. Pete Carroll is the lost Wilson brother. I guess he fits in first, the eldest before Andrew, Owen and Luke. First and formost this of course would explain the heartbreaking Rose Bowl 2006 loss by the Trojans to the Texas Longhorns. For as much love as Southern California has proffered Owen and Luke, could a long lost Wilson brother really betray his secret roots? See? Makes total sense. The longish shag. The unquestionably 100% totally heterosexual guy guy's love for men. The affable smile and easy interaction with anyone who might cross his path. America loves themselves a good Wilson brother.

In Honor of My Sister's Birthday Today....

Even the Shiksas appreciate a good Seder!

Hung Up on Grey Gardens

Confession: I am obsessed with Grey Gardens.

I can't believe I only saw it for the first time last year. It's the only movie in recent memory that I immediately watched again after finishing the first viewing. I don't think I've ever felt such empathy for people in a film ever in my life. Grey Gardens demands close watching. There are so many throw-away lines that add such nuance to our understanding of Big and Little Edie.

And while the movie is a documentary of their daily lives...we in reality learn very little about how the aunt and first cousin of Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis ended up in such sqalor. Are they reliable narrators? Even the smidges of personal history that emerge and the photos that are shown only give us a very broad contextual understanding of how they came to be who they are.

Which is a long way of saying most people that watch this mashup of Madonna's Hung Up and Little Edie's flag dance from Grey Gardens won't really get what they're watching, and what makes it such a perfect match. Hopefully this viral video will get more people interested in Grey Gardens.

The man behind Abercrombie & Fitch

This guy is so hella creepy looking, especially when you consider he's 61. He looks like the practice dummy that Jocelyn Wildenstein's surgeon used before putting her under the knife for the first time.

This article is a fascinating peek into the creation of a brand identity that still amazingly has steam. PS...why doesn't he just come out of the closet? When you read his backstory, it totally fits. The whole A&F aesthetic is based on wanting to belong with the cool kids....which in his case meant straight guys that knew how to play sports. "Nobody knows anything about his private life"...that's because if he was actually out of the closet it would ruin the demographic for the brand.

What the Hell is wrong with me? (The second in an ongoing series...?)

There it was on the bookshelf, calling out to me....

Let's take a little look into the way I think, shall we? There are so many books out there that one ought to read, that one must develop skills of discrimination. Jane Stanton Hitchcock is where that discrimination goes out the window for me. Her books are the kind that you stay up all night...well 2 hours, to finish, laughing maniacally out loud along the way. Forget your bodice rippers, your Danielle Steeles, this is what you'll find me reading in the Airport! I am absolutely drawn to Ms. Hitchcock's tales of murder amongst the East Coast élite.

And while I will never understand what the fuss is about vacactioning in the Hamptons, death in the Hamptons is another matter. Maybe that's why I spent all last night into the wee hours watching the Dominick Dunne's Power, Privilege and Justice marathon on Court TV instead of the local fireworks displays.

Oddly enough, I didn't really have the stomach for Maneater by Brian Grazer's wife (although not a murder mystery, it deals with the West Coast "society"....I know that's not the right word, but what else would you call it?), maybe because I lived it, I don't need to read a book about it. Maybe I don't like it because it's the only book Paris Hilton ever read.