The Movie Was BETTER Than The Book

I finished Elizabeth Gaskell's North & South last night. I found it enjoyable 'til the last 100 pages. In this case, the miniseries beats the book. Credit is due the screenwriter who I thought did a delightful job of making the ending much more entertaining than Mrs. Gaskell was able to.

In honor of how obsessed I have become, I created this list of Lines You Would Never Hear in North & South--Wedding Crashers Edition. Basically, every line below is a direct quote from Wedding Crashers, but I put it in the mouth of the main characters from N & S.


Mrs. Thornton [To John Thornton]: She hasn't answered your calls, she didn't respond to any of your letters, she didn't respond to the candygram. God only knows what happened to the kitten you got for her. 'Cause she didn't keep it, and I know you're not raising the ***damn thing. I think it's very obvious at this juncture that she just flat out does not wanna see you anymore.


Mr. Thornton [To Margaret]: Can I say something to you without you getting mad at me?


Mr. Thornton [To Margaret]: I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding, neither are you.


Mr. Thornton [To Mrs. Thornton]: HEY MOM! CAN WE GET SOME MEATLOAF?


Margaret [To John Thornton]: You shut your mouth when you're talking to me!


[On the balcony, infront of the mob]
Mr. Thornton: I feel so tiny in your arms.
Margaret: How tall are you?
Mr. Thornton: Six foot five, but I feel like I'm four feet.


Mr. Thornton: You and I both know I'm a phenomenal dancer!


Mr. Thornton [To Margaret]: I'm gonna go see Dr. Finklestein and I'm gonna tell him we have a whole new bag of issues. We can forget about mom for a while.

Mr. Thornton [after whoever's funeral (I can't remember which one he went to.)]: I crashed a funeral today.


Ok, I'm sure there are plenty more where that came from, that's just a smattering....