Showing posts with label Dames. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dames. Show all posts

Monday, February 07, 2011

Mama Said

by Justine Picardie

I never tire of reading about the lives of artists. So, even when I have not enjoyed actually reading an author’s work, I can often be convinced to have some interest in the author’s life. This fictionalized version of the life of Daphne du Maurier seemed very appealing. There were her literary friendships to learn of, gorgeous locales in Cornwall to imagine, and something sinister simmering just under the surface. The thing that detracted most for me from the book was the uninteresting, albiet now too common intertwining of a “modern day” storyline in which Du Maurier is the subject of research by an academic who coincidentally has a failing relationship just like Daphne. This trope was accomplished with success in the book Posession by AS Byatt, but here just comes off as uninspired copycating. The mental haze Daphne du Maurier operates under throughout the story is what passes for suspense in this book, but in the end it just aggravates as [SPOILER]…Nothing ever comes of it. I cannot recommend this book.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

Perfect Timing

I just watched Tommy for the first time ever this week--an event many years in the making. I sheepishly admit that, but am consoled by an article extoling the glory of Tommy wherein the author said he hadn't seen it before 2007, despite having been a long-standing fan who had actually reviewed the band for The Village Voice in the 60s. But I seriously doubt that he has as good an excuse as I do for avoiding it this long: I was frightened by it, and for good reason. My dad used to play "Boris the Spider" to my sister and I when I couldn't have been much more than 5 and she, like 3, as he recently reminded me. As if I could ever forget!

Actually it was the cover art for The Who Sell Out that made the indelible impression of a lifetime on my sib and I. To this day all I have to say to her is "remember that album cover"...to which she certainly will reply, "The one with the baked beans? Oh yeah." At that age, I had a hair ribbon wardrobe to die for and was immersed in a world of triumphant pink OshKosh corduroy overalls. I spent my days practicing the piano with a Rogers and Hammerstein songbook and doing barre exercises in ballet classes after school. During one of my forays exploring the cover art in my dad's album collection, my pastel purple universe was irretreivably altered when I was confronted by an angry guy sitting in a bathtub of baked beans ("Why would someone DO THAT?" my young mind wondered), his hawkish eyes threatening that any second he would jump out of that tub and grab me. Or not. Maybe he liked it there in that tub; more than he liked scaring little private school ballerinas, one could only hope. The several faces of the proto-Where's Waldo? group photo on Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heart's Club Band (bought the week it was released in London, I would later learn) attracted nothing more than summary curiosity, even with a gatefold, after I was introduced to the scariest image I had ever beheld. Well, not as scary as the Skeksis in the Dark Crystal, or Dragonslayer. But those were yet to enter my purview.

Much to the amusement of certain persons in my life, I've recently re-discovered how much I really do love a lot of The Who's music. Let me be clear though, my taste only extends to the EARLY oeuvre, the amphetamine-driven snarling white boy R&B married to the avant garde pop arty stuff. NOT their over-synthed stadium rock of the 70s. Pete Townshend would snarl that that early stuff is juvenile, and so be it, I can live with that.

Tommy
is the bridge between those eras. Back in 1993 when Tommy came to Broadway, being the good drama geek that I was, I knew the complete "libretto" (if I may be so bold) and had the Broadway cast recording. I watched Ken Russell's Women in Love via Netflix in December and thought it terrific. So when I saw Tommy was going to be on TCM recently, I thought, why not? Who couldn't do with a little more Oliver Reed and Ann-Margret in their life? After reading the aforementioned article, I was especially amped to see Tina Turner's turn as The Acid Queen and the much vaunted "Champagne" sequence. And now, my thoughts:

  1. Thank goodness they really didn't "go there" with the creepy Uncle Ernie sequence. That was a big concern for me. I just didn't want to watch that.
  2. Oliver Reed à la Danny Zuko who can't sing? GENIUS!
  3. How does Tina Turner do that thing with her lip? And the mirrored robot thing she put Tommy in? Who else was thinking "PUT THEM IN THE IRON MAIDEN!"?
  4. "Champagne" lived up to my expectations. My STARS, Ann-Margaret was robbed of the Oscar! Her best performance ever. What a trooper, that was serious commitment to a character. I hope being the Dame of the Month here on the blog eases the pain of being denied recognition a little.
  5. Wha? Tommy was only a pinball wizard for like 5 minutes! More pinball wizardry, fewer cults, please.
  6. Eric Clapton segment=zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Question: When you are God, why would you agree to a demotion to priest?
  7. Mixed emotions re: Sally Simpson's Tommy wallpaper. Cool effect, but could you live with it year round? Also, Sally was way younger than I envisioned her to be.
  8. Pete Townshend, 10 years on then, more than 40 now, isn't the whole "birdman" strum/guitar destruction thing a little played? How can it be an organic expression of feeling when it's progressed into an "insert trademark move here" type thing? And the corollary: Roger, you had that haircut for at least 8 years (1967-1975). I'm glad it wasn't the world's first straight perm that you were sporting before that, but my goodness, evolve already. You just wanted people to confuse you with Robert Plant, admit it.
  9. There is no way Roger and Ann-Margret didn't have an affair.
  10. Bring on Lisztomania!
The vein of Who-related arcana runs deep in my life, or better said, the lives of my parents. When I told my mom I'd watched Tommy, she said (predictably), "Oh, that movie's dis-GUSTING!" When I asked what was so disgusting about it, she said,"Didn't he have zits?" Now I am sorry but that is funny. Of all the things she could have taken exception with in that film she picks non-existent zits and says nothing about chocolate-doused silk bolster pillows. Then she went on to reveal that she and my dad walked out of Tommy and went to see Antonioni's The Passenger...and hated that too! In her defense though, she was pregnant with me at the time. That accounts for the memory loss re: the zits and the impatience with experimental filmmaking....and probably, quite a lot about me as well.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

A Bucket of French and Saunders

Man I love me some French & Saunders (here shown in a sketch from their currently running BBC special A Bucket of French and Saunders as Amy Winehouse and Brit-brit.

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Fancy Pants

If I had to choose just one autobiography between the two, I'd definitely pick Anita's. But it'd have to be illustrated.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Thursday, December 28, 2006

CHICK-A-POW!

After all the egg nog was drunk and the stockings were emptied, and everyone had a piece of wrapping paper stuck to the bottom of their shoe, what did you do on Christmas? I bet you didn't watch A Smoky Mountain Christmas. I bet you don't STILL have it on the DVR. I bet you couldn't go pull out a taped-from TV circa 1988 VHS copy of it out of the closet, if you could be bothered. I bet you weren't on the verge of tears when you saw this GENIUS album cover of hers from your favorite decade. And I bet you didn't do a spit take when Sherpa listed Dolly's autobiography on her 2006 list of books read, cause it's on YOUR wish list.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

She's A Lady


Happy Birtday Dame Judi, my valkyrie

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Liza at the Luxor

Last night I was privileged to end 2006: My Year In Gay Man Music with a performance by Miss Liza May Minnelli at the Luxor Casino in Las Vegas. Unfortunately we were half an hour late and so I only got to see about an hour's worth of performance. And there was no merchandise to be had. I had been dreaming for weeks about wrassling myself up a Liza tour tee that would motivate me on the eliptical trainer. I'd cut out the neck and make a neck hole big enough to slide over one shoulder. I might have even jazzed it up with a BeDazzle™ or two, but such dreams were not to be fulfilled. As Liza said as she ripped off one faux eyelash and then the other midsong, "DAMN!"

What I liked especially about this performance was that between each song, she took a few seconds to just chat, share an anecdote or remark on the first time she had heard a song sung. I would die to read a Liza autobiography, because honey you better believe she knows where all the skeletons are buried. I would have loved to talk to her about Arrested Development too. Can you imagine going out on the town with Jessica Walters and Liza, watching them knock back a couple thousand champagne mimosas while you nursed a Diet Peach Snapple Iced Tea? Heaven!

The best moment of the night for me came when she let her bandleader/piano player do a solo cover of "You Can Leave Your Hat On". Although I love the Tom Jones version of the song, I recently had to sit in the car and listen to my dad sing along every word of some random blues version of it which was extremely distressing and offputting. But Liza helped me to push those memories aside when she insisted on a reprise of the song and then proceeded to do an interpretive dance all the while her bandleader sang. She's still got it baby. David Guest eat your heart out.

Monday, October 02, 2006

Don't Drop Bombs (Like this one)



I can't decide if this is "THA" bomb or "a" bomb. I promise this won't turn into Liza Minnelli blog.

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Maybe this time she'll be lucky...


I know it's not news by now, but I just had to give a cheer out to Miss Liza May for her recent legal victory...

SWEET NECTAR


Alex and Krystal=Taking Care of Business!

They will be reuniting in a national tour of the play Legends before heading to BROADWAY!

More proof that I am just a gay man in a woman's body.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Why am I always the last to know?

Google has been hosting the first episode of Season 3 of Footballers' Wive$ since Valentine's Day at video.google.com/bbc. I just finished watching it, and all I have to say is I welcome the addition of Bollywood stars and Chinese Triads; Chardonnay will be missed and let's get Frank out of the picture as soon as we can.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

That Explains Everything: The Material Hernia

We're all greatful that cool heads prevailed amongst the producers of the recent Grammy show, and Madonna was chosen over Mariah to open the festivities. Firstly, because it was a fabulous performance, as you can see here, and secondly, because anything that makes Mariah have a fit is fine by me.

Madge is apparently in recovery from a hernia that was operated on right after her performance in the Grammys. What does concern me is the nigh-unto-Cheney like delay in reportage concerning the story. A Google search shows that the hernia story was first reported yesterday by some crappy Irish online news outlet. Hello, the Grammy's happened...well, like a long time ago. Maybe it was a week, but it feels like a year.

Clearly, when having to deal with something as old-fartish and unsexy as a hernia in front of a TV audience of millions, the best policy, as the mystical wisdom of the Kabbalah teaches, is to hide in plain view. No wonder she had the wardrobe trifecta of sexy yet sensible support hose, firm yet flexible lycra leotard and body brace disgused as supple corset in full effect! There was nothing on earth that was going to keep her from showing those producers they'd backed the right filly. Do it up, Madge! Do it up!

Where Mangoes Come From...


Did you know that Jennifer Coolidge and Chris Kattan were lovers? Well, according to IMDB they were.

Her new article in Esquire entitled "10 Things You Don't Know About Women," includes this morsel: A man's ability to haggle is never a turn on. Don't I know it!

Sunday, February 12, 2006

One Week Away and I Can Hardly Stand It!


Cheers, Darling! The third season of Footballers' Wive$ is about to descend upon us, just in bloody time. Even though I already know who killed Jase, I'm a little disraught that Chardonnay and her divine theme parties will no longer be with us. I can only hope that the third season will manage to engage as much as the first, and I hope Frank dies pretty quickly, because he grosses me out.

I find it pretty amazing that Chardonnay's poitrine healed well enough to be so clearly displayed in this cast photo, btw.

FW will valiantly try to fill the gaping hole left in me by the all but definite canceling of Arrested Development. But let's face it, I yearn for older days when the universe was big enough for both of them. Gangey could have taught Tanya a thing or two about shoveling coal!

Who are we kidding, even if this season is absolutely awful, I have to make it through to Season 5, now showing in the UK when JOAN COLLINS joins the cast!

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Liza with a Z


Ok, so it's taken me a week to gather my thoughts about this most stupendous of episodes of your favorite show and mine...the one that Mr. Lipton hosts. The highlight for me was when Miss Liza sang AND SIGNED Aznavour's "Quiet Love". It may have brought Mr. Lipton to tears for the first time in the hallowed history of the show, but it left me marveling at how outright deranged Ms. Minnelli is. And I find that to be delicious! Once upon a time, she was a fascinating stylist. Now, well, let's just say that maybe I am pre-disposed to stare anyway, but the material she gives me to work with isn't helping.


The Inside the Actors Studio Personality Profile Game was a lovely little find that I encountered whilst perusing the bravo site. Guess which former guest I am? I whole hartedly disagree.

Thursday, July 07, 2005

RIP Nan


I'm just jealous because she only missed one YSL show out of the past 60+.