First there was The Office, 
then Footballers' Wive$,
then The Vicar of Dibley 
and Life on Mars.
I realize that's not the order of their production, but it's how I fell in love with them. It's fair to say the only TV I watch anymore is on BBC America. So I'm more than a little steamed that ALL FOUR of these shows have been or are being remade for American TV. I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Hollywood, I challenge you...NO REMAKES EVER EVER!"
My 2nd cousin's husband Ben was in Time magazine a week or two ago in an article about his letterpress stationery business, Seraph. I had the opportunity to visit his studio at the end of August, and let me tell you, true to my paper addiction, I was in a cold sweat because I couldn't invent a pretext for ordering gorgeous custom wedding invitations. I don't even know anyone that's getting married that I could pass the info on to! Go to the site, check out his wares, and be mindful that he'll even work with you to design your own. And if you ain't getting married anytime soon, you can still buy his gorgeous note cards.
So, I was watching the USC football game this afternoon, as I am wont to do. USC winning a football game is about the only sure thing there is anymore in this life of mine. The People of Troy DELIVER. Some might wonder what it is that ensures such reliability. Is it the unprescedented wealth that USC Alumni are famous for bestowing on their alma mater, inevitably making the Trojans the New York Yankees of college football? Why only last week George Lucas announced a gift of $175 million dollars to 'SC (but I doubt very much that the football program will see much of that). Maybe it's not the money, but something overthere is making a difference.
As I watched the surprisingly close game this afternoon I had a realization about what has caused the success of 'SC thus far. Pete Carroll is the lost Wilson brother. I guess he fits in first, the eldest before Andrew, Owen and Luke. First and formost this of course would explain the heartbreaking Rose Bowl 2006 loss by the Trojans to the Texas Longhorns. For as much love as Southern California has proffered Owen and Luke, could a long lost Wilson brother really betray his secret roots? See? Makes total sense. The longish shag. The unquestionably 100% totally heterosexual guy guy's love for men. The affable smile and easy interaction with anyone who might cross his path. America loves themselves a good Wilson brother.
Ok...This was emotional...that's why it took me so long to write this entry. As of July 4, 2006, Video Outtakes is on indefinite hiatus...and possibly out of business permanently.
In a world of giants corporations like Blockbuster and Hollywood Video taking over the video trade...This little store that could was a movie-lover's oasis. You absolutely knew you'd be able to find even the most obscure films there. Here's a typical challenge: A French Gangster movie, a 60's sci-fi parody and a Burt Lancaster film-noir. GO!
We'll miss you guys.
Jean-Paul Melville is one of my favorite screenwriters of all time. The only thing that could make me have more anticipation for the American première of his L'Armée des Ombres would be if Jean Gabin was in it. Sadly, he's not...But I'm still saving the date.
"Army of Shadows"--A Review
These kooky kids fascinate me. I am totally conflicted about seeing this film. PS...is Matthew Barney Mormon? I haven't seen any of his Cremaster films, but I hear there are a Mormon Characters and Symbols, etc in them. Maybe it's just because he grew up in Idaho. Or maybe it's another case of a hot dude abdicating his tribal duties!
PPS...isn't it funny how Napoleon Dynamite is set in Preston, ID...just about as Mormon a town as you can get, the star's Mormon, the Director and Writers are Mormon...but there are no OVERT references to Mormons in the movie? Like they wanted to totally avoid the topic. That's like setting a movie in Fallujah and acting like the locals are Eskimos.
Former Dodger Great Facing a Mound of Debt
Oh how the mighty are fallen. Steve Garvey was the first Dodger whose name I could pronounce. He was a favorite of my childhood. He's gone from MLB Golden Boy to certified chump.
Hubby on Strike
This poor guy is taking one giant step forward for mankind! My take on the subject? Newborns in a crib or bassinet for the first few months to a year...OK. At least then when they cry, you don't have to go too far. But after that, they're out of there! I never was allowed to sleep with my parents. On the maybe one or two times as a child I came to their room at night I was either told to go back to bed, or fell asleep in there and then magically awoke in my own bed.
2006 Morning News Tournament of Books.
I think this is a great idea except that I've read what...2 of the books, and maybe only care to read 4 other contenders. But anything that gets the kiddies interested in books!
But boy am I glad it does!
And on a related note...I had no idea about Santino's Yard Sale this past weekend. But I'm not sure I would have gone, even if I did know about it. I probably would have started something.
Let's just get it out there that not only do I approve of the infamous "Swan Dress" Björk wore to the 2001 Oscars, I WOULD WEAR IT. Maybe not to the Oscars...but I would embrace it as a red carpet option for sure. And all you so called fashion police out there...remind me who's on your red carpet? Oh that's right, Ryan Seacrest.
I have a fever and the only thing that can cure it is...eclairs. I can't even remember the last time I ate an eclair. I can't ever remember in my life craving one. But don't worry I managed to eat 4 near approximations today. I say near approximations, because I ended up having to buy eclairs from the freezer section of the 3rd store I went to in the quest to satisfy my BELLY. And we all know that freezing something makes it just a little bit off.
I was going to ration myself to two today and two tomorrow, but who are we kidding. The interesting thing being that upon consuming 2 eclairs, I was immediately hit with a desire to eat scrambled eggs. So don't worry I ate those too. Once I finished the eggs...You're so smart, I had more cravings for eclairs. So I polished off the box. Come on, we all knew that I would.
The Morning News - Be Not Afraid, by Rosecrans Baldwin
Thanks for the Pick-Me-Up!
Article
When I went to London for the first time in 2001, we went to the Tower of London as all good tourists do, and we saw the ravens there. Don't even trip: they have a yeoman raven keeper. This job made such a huge impression on me that I recorded it in my journal.
I am assuming that it is a government job wherein you wake the ravens up, prepare them breakfast, take them on a walk, look the other way when they make doody and then cover it up with dirt, feed them lunch, feed them tea, feed them dinner, tuck them into bed and sing them to sleep.
I get the symbolism and the myth and romance of it all. That still didn't keep me from thinking it was stupid to have a human's life work devoted to being a raven keeper.
So I noted this article with interest. Especially the part where the guy says he's been planning to put Branwen, Hugine, Munin, Gwyllum, Thor and Baldrick (the ravens) indoors for a while now in anticipation of the bird flu reaching western europe. Can you just feel the excitement welling up in this guy? "Maybe, in 4 months' time, I'll have a change in my shed-jul!"
Ok, I'm being really mean.
Confession: I am obsessed with Grey Gardens.
I can't believe I only saw it for the first time last year. It's the only movie in recent memory that I immediately watched again after finishing the first viewing. I don't think I've ever felt such empathy for people in a film ever in my life. Grey Gardens demands close watching. There are so many throw-away lines that add such nuance to our understanding of Big and Little Edie.
And while the movie is a documentary of their daily lives...we in reality learn very little about how the aunt and first cousin of Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis ended up in such sqalor. Are they reliable narrators? Even the smidges of personal history that emerge and the photos that are shown only give us a very broad contextual understanding of how they came to be who they are.
Which is a long way of saying most people that watch this mashup of Madonna's Hung Up and Little Edie's flag dance from Grey Gardens won't really get what they're watching, and what makes it such a perfect match. Hopefully this viral video will get more people interested in Grey Gardens.
My dad is convinced that Santino designed this outfit for Olympian Johnny Weir when his uncooked turkey on ice ensemble failed to impress Sasha Cohen in the challenge on Project Runway.
I am torn, because although at first glimpse it looks right up Santino's alley, I think more than likely Peter Pan was just trying to break out of his design mold.
H&M to Open Hollywood Store
Finally, after what has it been, 5 years since I first stepped into H & M (in either France or Germany, I can't recall), the powers that be deign to open one in LA.
Actually the last H & M I was in in London gave me a roaring headache, but I went at 5 pm on a Friday, so I acknowledge it was probably my fault.
Still...I freaking hate Hollywood & Highland...couldn't they put it at the Beverly Center or Third Street Promenade? I guess I hate those places too.
I really wish that they'd put a Zara closer to me.
Not only has OKGO attained a place in the man-dance pantheon with their video for their new single A Million Ways, In my opinion, they've knocked Christopher Walken in Weapon of Choice down to #3. Can they challenge Yatta's hegemony in this newly emerging genre?
Let's put it to a vote!
Google has been hosting the first episode of Season 3 of Footballers' Wive$ since Valentine's Day at video.google.com/bbc. I just finished watching it, and all I have to say is I welcome the addition of Bollywood stars and Chinese Triads; Chardonnay will be missed and let's get Frank out of the picture as soon as we can.
We're all greatful that cool heads prevailed amongst the producers of the recent Grammy show, and Madonna was chosen over Mariah to open the festivities. Firstly, because it was a fabulous performance, as you can see here, and secondly, because anything that makes Mariah have a fit is fine by me.
Madge is apparently in recovery from a hernia that was operated on right after her performance in the Grammys. What does concern me is the nigh-unto-Cheney like delay in reportage concerning the story. A Google search shows that the hernia story was first reported yesterday by some crappy Irish online news outlet. Hello, the Grammy's happened...well, like a long time ago. Maybe it was a week, but it feels like a year.
Clearly, when having to deal with something as old-fartish and unsexy as a hernia in front of a TV audience of millions, the best policy, as the mystical wisdom of the Kabbalah teaches, is to hide in plain view. No wonder she had the wardrobe trifecta of sexy yet sensible support hose, firm yet flexible lycra leotard and body brace disgused as supple corset in full effect! There was nothing on earth that was going to keep her from showing those producers they'd backed the right filly. Do it up, Madge! Do it up!
Did you know that Jennifer Coolidge and Chris Kattan were lovers? Well, according to IMDB they were.
Her new article in Esquire entitled "10 Things You Don't Know About Women," includes this morsel: A man's ability to haggle is never a turn on. Don't I know it!
I have to say, I don't care what "as-yet unapproved by the FDA" health benefits might be had by taking Garlique once a day. I don't even care if you swear up and down that "GARLIQUE has none of the unsocial qualities associated with fresh garlic cloves." Odorless, tasteless and easy to digest? I'll take your word for it.
As Dana Carvey would say when impersonating Papa Bush, "Not gonna do it!"
Cheers, Darling! The third season of Footballers' Wive$ is about to descend upon us, just in bloody time. Even though I already know who killed Jase, I'm a little disraught that Chardonnay and her divine theme parties will no longer be with us. I can only hope that the third season will manage to engage as much as the first, and I hope Frank dies pretty quickly, because he grosses me out.
I find it pretty amazing that Chardonnay's poitrine healed well enough to be so clearly displayed in this cast photo, btw.
FW will valiantly try to fill the gaping hole left in me by the all but definite canceling of Arrested Development. But let's face it, I yearn for older days when the universe was big enough for both of them. Gangey could have taught Tanya a thing or two about shoveling coal!
Who are we kidding, even if this season is absolutely awful, I have to make it through to Season 5, now showing in the UK when JOAN COLLINS joins the cast!
This article caught my eye. I guess this goes under the heading of one day when I have money, maybe I can figure out why I always seem to put my feet just to the right of the stringer when I drop in.
More proof that I'm a total geek-faced nerd. I just love the thought that what we do leaves a signature that may be imperceptible to the human eye. Even though I will admit that geometric analysis is probably not in keeping with the artistic spirit.
Ok, so it's taken me a week to gather my thoughts about this most stupendous of episodes of your favorite show and mine...the one that Mr. Lipton hosts. The highlight for me was when Miss Liza sang AND SIGNED Aznavour's "Quiet Love". It may have brought Mr. Lipton to tears for the first time in the hallowed history of the show, but it left me marveling at how outright deranged Ms. Minnelli is. And I find that to be delicious! Once upon a time, she was a fascinating stylist. Now, well, let's just say that maybe I am pre-disposed to stare anyway, but the material she gives me to work with isn't helping.
The Inside the Actors Studio Personality Profile Game was a lovely little find that I encountered whilst perusing the bravo site. Guess which former guest I am? I whole hartedly disagree.
We all know Galliano as an outlandish, nigh on to histrionic couturier, but I gotta ask who the target demographic was on this confection. What do we even name it? Pope Goth? Or maybe he just thinks this is how all Republicans dress. Or if Elizabeth I was Catholic?
I can just imagine the fury of Santino upon first viewing this design: "That piratically thieving scamp!"
This guy is so hella creepy looking, especially when you consider he's 61. He looks like the practice dummy that Jocelyn Wildenstein's surgeon used before putting her under the knife for the first time.
This article is a fascinating peek into the creation of a brand identity that still amazingly has steam. PS...why doesn't he just come out of the closet? When you read his backstory, it totally fits. The whole A&F aesthetic is based on wanting to belong with the cool kids....which in his case meant straight guys that knew how to play sports. "Nobody knows anything about his private life"...that's because if he was actually out of the closet it would ruin the demographic for the brand.
I just got a Google Alert that the charge of violating Turkey's Penal Code section 301 has been dropped against Mr. Pamuk. I am very happy for him, but saddened that the case was even allowed to be heard. They also need to reprieve the other writers that are less known, but still being charged under that law. If Turkey wants to join the EU, stuff like this cannot happen.
I just began reading Mr. Pamuk's work when I was in London this past October, on my morning subway commute. His voice is one of the more original that I have recently encountered in literature, so much so that I hastily went on to My Name is Red after I read Snow. Imprisioning this man would have made Turkey the laughing stock of the International Community. Especially when all he did was mention that no one talks about the Armenians and Kurds that the Ottomans killed.
So...I'm a little mercurial. A little moody, a little up and down. Maybe inert is a better word...if I'm not blogging, I don't blog until something snaps me out of it. I got tagged (gracias, Sherp) so here it goes:
Four Jobs I’ve had:
1. Assistant Wardrobe Stylist for Legally Blonde TV pilot.
2. Securities Fraud Investigator
3. Office Drone
4. Answering Service Phone Operator
Four Places I’ve Lived:
1. Palos Verdes Estates, CA
2. Philadelphia, PA
3. Provo, UT
4. Leucadia, CA
Four Movies I’d Watch Again:
1. La Sirène du Mississippi
2. Swept Away (Original Version)
3. The Wendell Baker Story
4. La Decima Vittima
Four TV Shows I love to Watch:
1. PROJECT RUNWAY
2. Twin Peaks
3. Footballers' Wive$
4. Arrested Development
Four of My Favorite Foods:
1. Homemade Pork Apple Pie
2. Bananas
3. Sweet Potatoes
4. Shrimp
Four Places I’d Rather be Right Now:
1. Rio de Janiero or Búzios, Brazil
2. The Seychelles
3. Goa, India
4. Cortina d'Ampezzo
In the time honored tradition of "Which Character are You" Quizzes, from Seinfeld to Sex and the City, you knew there was a Footballers' Wive$ one out there.
I'm Chardonnay!!!!!!
GOB Bluth need have no fear...if times got really tough and no one in Vegas would hire him to perform magic. Apparently the Segway is the vehicle of choice for mall cops at one of the Las Vegas outlets.
So after an agonizing hiatus for us obsessives, Project Runway will return for a second season on December 7.
Why is that one guy Daniel back? He's so annoying. Jay was in the teaser on the site, but I hope that Austin gets to make an appearance too.
If you haven't seen this movie, go see it. It's the first movie I've been dying to see in a long time, and I wasn't disappointed.
This explains everything! Anderson Cooper recently recommended his mother Gloria Vanderbilt's memoir It Seemed Important at the Time to readers of O Magazine, not because Gloria needs the money, but because of the juicy tidbits about his mom's dating life.
Quoth he: "I always thought the worst thing in the world would be to hear your parents talk about their sex lives. It turns out, the worst is learning that your parents' sex lives were more interesting than your own."
He muses at even greater length on the same topic in this Details article. Believe me, the quote about Nijinsky was more of a mental picture than even I wanted.
So he's flirting with Seacrest to spice up his love life, because he's in competition with his mom. That makes total sense.
Come on Anderson, Ryan Seacrest is so 2003
One thing I will say about this gal, she sure knows how to commit...wether it's to a haircut or a man, she's pretty consistent.
My top 3 Goldie Hawn movies:
3. Housesitter, even though Steve Martin's in it.
2. Private Benjamin, because every girl wants to marry a French gynecologist.
1. Foul Play, because I defy you to find a funnier movie (outside of Wedding Crashers).
The title of Carson Kressley's new book for children made my day. Notice a blog theme for the week? How did that happen?
Ok, well of course you know this means I have to confess that I was actually watching Ryan Seacrest....interviewing Nicole Richie....on CNN when this PHENOMENAL exchange occurred between the Ryster and Anderson Cooper .....
Cooper: That’s the biggest tie I’ve ever seen, by the way.
Seacrest: Yeah, you know, I don’t know. It’s bigger than my head, isn’t it?
Cooper: No, it works, it works for you. It just, you know, I just noticed it….
Seacrest: Look at the size of your… your bow’s tiny, mine’s huge.
Cooper: I’ve heard that often.
Then it was quoted on Gawker and I knew that millions of other Americans were caught in their own vacuum of shame, also known as it's 7pm and I've already seen the Law & Order rerun that's on and The Biggest Loser doesn't start until 8pm.
PS Will you people out there stop giving Ryan Seacrest more jobs! We don't need to encourage him.
Another reason I hate New York. I'm dying to go to this. It reminds me of this gameshow they have in England for painters...I think it's called A Brush with Fame or something.
Ever since I went to the affordable art fair in London (and didn't go to Frieze...not that' I'm bummed...I ain't no Gwyneth mimic) I'm diggin' this new world. Never mind that I probably couldn't even afford the catalogue if I went, let alone an actual work. But these are also by much more established artists....Calder, HOCKNEY,Ruscha, Stella...whathave you. Wanna come?
I am dying to watch this, 11/24 at 10PM--but I can't remember if we get the Sundance Channel or not....I'm thinking no. Man that Tom Ford is one sexy baish by the way (wink, llama).
Why I Hate the Hotel du Crap by Brett Ratner
Ok so we all know that it's one of my absolute rock 'n' roll fantasies to stay at the Hotel du Cap. But maybe not so much anymore. This article made me giggle a little, having been also the victim of a Nazi-like French concierge at my last hotel stay in London, at a place not even on the same playing field as the Hotel du Cap.
How did this escape my notice? Ricky Gervais in Christopher Guest's next film? Can one be asked to endure such bliss? And the title of the mock film, Home for Purim? My existence is complete. The only way this scenario could be improved is if Jennifer Coolidge gets to make out with Ricky; if they're eachother's love interests.
I am so stoked that you can get the London Review of Books Personal Ads online. Let's just start off with the first one this week, as an example:
"Passionate unicycling ornithologist seeks company of equally inspired stilt walker for hedgerow birdnesting. "
Genius! Can you imagine if they had personals at the Beach Reporter?
"If you've got boobs and like to drink beer at Sharkeez, hit me up!"
I gotta get outta here. It's true, the time has come.
I made this recipe last night. It was pretty good despite the requisite screw-ups I always make whenever I cook anything (like not adding the spice when I was supposed to.) But it's SPICY. Like hella hot. I was proud of my dad, he still ate it anyway. Next time, if I make it, I'll significantly reduce the Old Bay (I'd never used that seasoning before, much less heard of it.) I have a feeling it'll be spicy just the same.
Why am I finding all this cool stuff in London now that I'm not there? I don't know why but this really appeals to me. Muji's got Paris, Tokyo and New York too. I would love to have it as a memento of my trip. HINT. Except that one phallic looking thing. Even in London, I couldn't figure out what it was--except there it was all glass. I kept thinking, "What civil planning genius ok'ed that?" Maybe I'll just throw that piece out of the set when I get it.
Ok so you all know that I can't resist a research problem, so I decided to figure out what the hell that thing is. 
Answer? The Swiss Re Building. And I figured out who was to blame. Norman Foster. To paraphrase Room With a View (the movie): I blame you Norman, I blame you very much.
So I saw this Citroën in Wallpaper. And I think it's just about perfect for me. Too bad it's a concept car. But maybe by the time they get around to production I'll be able to afford it. And it even comes in my yellow!
So the PR geniuses behind Madonna's new album due in exactly 2 weeks have set up a toll-free line where you can listen to other people's confessions. I am frightened by this more than by any Queen Mary's "Haunted Shipwreck" I was lucky enough to be out of town to avoid. Fear people, FEAR. BTW think about those two things what do they have in common? I'll give you a hint: Long Beach.
Just as long as Buster doesn't get his hand surgically put back on.
In related news, apparently some of the humor is lost if you watch Arrested Development in French.
Arrested was on really late at night in England too. Frankly, I'm surprised they showed it there, I don't think the Brits would find it humorous. Especially Wee Britain.
November 2005
Classic: Clarissa by Richardson
Non-Fiction: The Disappointment Artist by Jonathan Lethem
Contemporary Fiction: My Name is Red by Orhan Pamuk
Free: El Capitán Alatriste by Pérez-Reverte
December 2005
Classic: The Red and the Black by Stendahl
Non-Fiction: Freakonomics by Steven Leavitt
Contemporary Fiction: Life, A User’s Manual by Perec
Free: On Beauty by Zadie Smith
January 2006
Classic: The Tale of Genji, Arthur Waley trans.
Non-Fiction: The Peabody Sisters by Megan Marshall
Contemporary Fiction: Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace
Free: Arthur & George by Julian Barnes
February 2006
Classic: Amadis of Gaul
Non-Fiction: White Mughals by William Dalrymple
Contemporary Fiction: Cosmicomics by Italo Calvino
Free: The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood
I really REALLY really like things that are lemon flavored. While in London, I was introduced to both Marks & Spencer's Luscious Lemon Licious dessert and Innocent's Detox. Both super-lemony, both daily gotta haves on my sojurn. Ok, so I just discovered the smoothies literally the night before I left. Too bad, that. The link above has a recipie for them.
That conniving wench! We all swore her off after her last outing, American Life, didn't we? So how calculating was the unveiling of the cover of her latest album, not due out in the US for another 2 months? Damn her and her Abba samples! I just know I'm gonna buy this album, and I hate her for it.
Ok...so I have a confession. I'm a PBS addict. My main show that I'm into at the moment are reruns of Inspector Lynley. So I went to check what episode would be airing today, and I saw that another huge favorite of mine, Foyle's War is back for a third season. This is particularly poigniant, because my sister and I were lamenting yesterday how all of our favorite PBS series are over...like Sharpe and Hornblower (ok, so that was on A&E, but it's totally the PBS genre.), and what a shame that was, especially with Hornblower, because as my sister pointed out...there's so much more material to cover. He becomes an Admiral for pete's sake (she's reading the complete 12 book series.)!
All I have to say is what bliss is mine...they've even wrapped the 4th season this past spring. There's going to be plenty of Foyle for the time to come.
Ok, I'm a fan. I realized the other day that if I had to make a list of shows that I always watch if they're on...they'd be....1. Project Runway, 2. Inside the Actor's Studio, and as of this second 3. that Kathy Griffin show. Good for them.
So, my new food obsession are these Nesquik milkshake thingys. My favorite is Buncha Bananas, but they can be hard to find. I like the Caramel and Vanilla flavor, but prefer the Buncha. It's getting to the point where I'm having to have like 4 a week. And that's like a $1.70 a day habit! Diet Coke is way cheaper.
This has a soupçon of the old BYU blame game re women can't wear bags with straps that cross their breasts because it's too distracting. Give me a break.
Um, where to even begin? In an evening so fraught with expectation...and drunkards...Saturday night, I crossed another "to do" off my mental ROCK 'N' ROLL fantasy list. One thing I will say about my sisters and I out for a night on the town...Don't provoke us, because we will throw down. And we will make illegal video recordings and talk through them. And we will try to sneak down to the pit, only to chicken out and not even try, because of our fear of "Granny, the Usher."
Illegal video soon to follow.
